Always been you wonah
by AnDiMaCkCrAcK
Summary: "You've got stars in your eyes let's paint the sky" As all of Jonah's friends seem to be in relationships he begins to feel like the third wheel of the group. looking back on his disaster relationship history he decides to take a break and learn to love himself before others until he runs into the artist
1. Monopoly

_Collecting em like monopoly, like property_

**Jonah's POV**

I was walking through the streets of shady side on my way to the spoon earlier this morning my phone was buzzing with messages from the GHC group chat Buffy, Cyrus and Andi all have some kind of news as I was walking I felt happy for once things where going pretty well I was almost dancing as I walked down the street listening to music.

_**"**__I been on the road where you been, been protective with my soul where you been__**"**_

Monopoly best described how I felt where I'm at in my life

_**"**__Bad vibes get off of me outta here with that__**-"**_

My phone for probably the 100th time today vibrated with a text from Cyrus

🌈**Cy-guy🌈**

**[Cyrus]**  
**Jonah hurry up your late 🕞**

**I'm sorry I shouldn't of been so forward I'm just excited**

**Omg are you okay?**

**Plz text me**

**[Jonah]**  
**Cyrus I'm on my way chill**

**[Cyrus]**  
**Rly you of all ppl telling me to chill?**

**[Jonah]**  
**Oof ur right almost there now**

I put pressed play and put my phone back in my pocket and continued walking

_**"**__I like women and men yuh__**"**_

Despite the fact I was alone I still turned red at that line even that part was true. I realised I was bi when I developed a crush on Cyrus since he was there for me while trying out for the ultimate elite team but was so terrified and confused I just tried to forget by accepting Andi's braclet thankfully where not together anymore. Even though Cyrus is gay and we all love him I'm still fearful about coming out I think keeping it to myself is what's best. I reached the spoon and opened the door and saw Andi Cyrus and Buffy sitting at a booth I sat down next to Cyrus and flashed a signature smile

"Hey guys how is everyone?"

They all where beaming and glowing whatever they need to say it must be good news

"Where all great JB but I'm expecting someone so if you don't mind..."

"No worries Cy-guy"

I stood up and slid in next to Buffy then she made that burn sound effect with her mouth and turned to me

"sorry Jonah I'm kinda saving this seat too"

"O-oh okay I'll just sit opposite Andi and leave a space for whoever Cyrus is expecting"

Suddenly Amber came in and took the space I was about to sit

"Oh sorry Jonah I'm on break and I wanted to talk to Andi"

"Fine it's alright the more people we have where gonna need a bigger table haha"

I pulled up a chair and sat at the end.

"So good hair crew what's your news?"

Cyrus perked up with a big smile and insisted on going first

"Well actually at Andi's party I spoke to Tj and him and Kira are no more"

"Oh that's great cy"

"And it gets better Tj and I held hands and I think he wants to ask me to be his boyfriend"

Cyrus squealed he seemed so happy it almost made me jelouse he could be himself I was too scared

"Yes see I told you it wouldn't last between them in other news me and Marty kissed at the party so that probably makes us official" Buffy said as her smile grew bigger

"Aw Buffy that's great and my news is that I am pansexual I hope that okay" she asked nervously

"Of course it is Andiman congrats" seriously these guys are braver that I am

"Wow that's all great guys and as a matter a fact I'm lesbian" Amber said

Cyrus and Buffy started clapping I sat there thinking about my life choices may be I should just come out

"Andi, Amber we love you this is great we are all in perfect balance" Cyrus beamed

"That's important to You?" Buffy said

"Yes well unless Jonah or you have anything you want to tell us do you guys?"

"Haha Cyrus and no right Jonah" Buffy turned to me and so did everyone else

"W-what no" dang it I guess Im locked in the closet

They seemed to accept my half hearted answer but just as Cyrus was about to ask me again Tj and Marty walked in and saved me from interrogation

"I've had 3 classes with you and you still don't know who I am"

"Sorry Mr. The party"

"stop calling me that only Buffy can call me that"

We all laughed and Tj took a seat next to Cyrus and held his hand Marty put his arm around Buffy and Andi and Amber flirted with each other they were practically on a date.

they all got wrapped in there own conversations I sat quietly on my phone listening to music once Ambers break was over we all decided to leave Tj was practically smitten

"Let's all do this again I had a lot of fun hanging with you guys and muffin" Tj said staring at Cyrus with heart eyes

"Yeah we totally should"

I said that and plastered on a smile I honestly shuddered at the very thought don't get me wrong I love having there company but I felt like everybody's third wheel I mean Cyrus barley said two sentences to me and he's my best friend but he's very happy plus he put up with all my relationships it's only fair.

***One hour later***

I walked all the way to the park not really knowing what to do with myself Tj and Cyrus went off with Marty and Buffy to Cyrus's house not wanting to feel like a third wheel again I didn't go Andi decided to keep Amber company so I was pretty much alone I stopped at the bridge and just looked over at the lake in front of me pretty much thinking about life until I saw something no someone... familer someone I haven't seen in a while.

"Artist?"

**There aren't enough wonah stories on here and I'm changing it !**


	2. Third wheels and new feels

**Walker's POV**

"Im sorry Walker we're over there's someone else"

"Whatever"

That's it I'm so done with girls between dating and a borderline sexuality crisis I'm through with them I wish I had someone to understand or listen I tried dating girls to push away the fact that I know I like boys I just don't have a word for it. Feeling very annoyed I walked to the bridge at the park to clear my head I just started doodling mindlessly on my sketch pad until a familiar friend got my attention

"Artist?"

"Jonah hey I mean... greetings fellow secret society cult member"

"Yes greetings leader and founder"

We laughed remembering that we hung out tighter for a week planning it. Secret society may of failed but Jonah was great to be around if anyone could cheer me up its Jonah Beck.

"So why you out here all by yourself"

"Well I've been dumped just now"

"Oh man I'm really sorry"

"Its all good I didn't like her that much what about you why's someone as cool as you doing out here all alone"

I could see him fighting a blush he looked back out to the lake

"O-oh ya know either this or be a third wheel all my friends are in relationships or nearly in relationships I was feeling pretty left out"

"Awe well ya got me know show them that you in fact other people to hang out with"

I playfully punched his shoulder and he looked up and smiled at me

"Yeah I guess your right"

**Next day**

**Jonah's POV**

I was sat in the red rooster playing around with my gituar Cyrus and Tj we're with me Cy said it's because he felt bad about yesterday with no one really speaking to me. It's a nice gesture but they we're sitting opposite flirting with each other.

"Oh stop it Tj"

"Gladly but you started with that cute face of yours" Tj said lovingly while kissing his kneck

"You guys don't have to be here you can go be alone if you like" I said slightly annoyed.

I didn't like either of them but I felt lonely without someone but I know I shouldn't be in a relationship right now it wasn't good on my mental health I needed to at least work on myself a little

"No JB we wanna spend time with you. I hated seeing you lonely plus you were all by yourself yesterday after the spoon"

"Y-yeah alone"

I didn't tell Cyrus and Tj about Walker because if they tell the girls they'll both flip ecspecially after the way Andi reacted. My phone buzzed and I picked up to see a message from Walker.

🖌**Artist🖌**

**[Walker]**  
**Hey Jo what u up to rn?**

**[Jonah]**  
**Nothing just 3rd wheeling for Cyrus and his boyfriend Tj**

**[Walker]**  
**Oh well if you ever wanted to escape that I'm free rn**

**[Jonah]**  
**When and where?**

**[Walker] **  
**Park bench 20 minutes I want this to be a surprise 😏👀**

**[Jonah]**  
**I'm there**

"Jonah... JONAH!" Cyrus shouted

I looked up startled

"Yeah?"

"Who were you talking to Jonah blushing Beck" Tj teased

"No one special"

"Well your red face and huge smile tell a different story" Cyrus giggled

"Anyways I have to go see you guys around"

**20 minutes later**

I saw Walker on the park bench

"Hey I'm here so what's the plan?"

"I heard you like music and there's this thing going on going on the street that's basically like a Coachella for artists so I was wondering if you come with me"

He seemed really excited and almost looked like he would beg me to go and honestly it sounded like a fun thing to do

"Yeah sounds fun"

We walked down the street to this place that was packed it looked cool though all this art and live music everyone was really happy Walker's face lit up he had a real sparkle in his eyes it was... kinda cute I didn't even realise I was staring until walker snapped me out of my trance

"Hey Jonah you there?"

"Yeah s-sorry" I said kind of flustered

"What do you think?"

"I think I wanna do everything here"

"Now where talking"

First we stopped by this booth where you were everyone was allowed to paint on one big canvas it looked like everyone was painting space Walker didn't give it a second thought and grabbed a paint brush I stood back and watched

"C'mon it won't hurt"

"But I can't-"

"None of that BS thank you now c'mon"

He grabbed my wrist and my stomach was doing flips I picked up a brush and started adding blue black purple and white to it trying to make it look like a galaxy.

"See that's good." Walker praised

"Thanks"

We walked around bought a few things and chatted the more we did the more I grew to like Walker in a weird way that made me feel what I could only describe as content

"So Cyrus has a boyfriend"

"Yeah...that's okay right?" I asked with caution

"Yeah totally fine I'd be a hypocrite if I wasn't"

"Oh so if it's okay to ask what are you?"

**Walkers POV**

Oh no this is embarrassing I have no idea he'll probably think I'm stupid for not knowing

"I-i d-dont know like I know I like boys just I don't know my sexuality I tried to suppress the thought by dating girls" I said avoiding eye contact

"That's okay walker I did the same thing for a while until I confirmed myself bisexual"

"Oh y-you are? Who else knows?" I replied a little shocked

"Know one I just don't feel ready"

I immediately felt bad Jonah and I haven't been friends for that for that long and he came out to me but not his close friends

"Oh I'm sure the time will come and when it is that time I'll be there for you"

"Thanks do you think you might be bisexual?"

"No...well I feel like I am attracted to anyone regardless of who they are I don't care I'll still love you"

"Ooh you might be pansexual where you like all genders it's what Andi is to after googling it I understood it more."

"Pansexual... I'm pansexual huh that works I'll have to research it more but it fits Hey thanks a lot you're a great friend"

"No problem" Jonah smiled with a hint of sadness in his eyes but I pretended to not notice

**Jonah's POV**

After exploring and doing a bunch of other fun things at the art festival we decided to call it a day.

"Thanks for coming with me and for helping me out you seriously lifted a weight off me"

"That's alright it was nothing really I'm happy your happy" I said

We went off in different directions but at I was walking I turned around to look at him I smiled to myself still unsure as to why I had this awkward strange warm feeling... then it hit me

"_If she turns to look back at you it means she like you and not just as a friend"_

Then that means... Oh no

**Oh yes**

**Love lj xx**


	3. I ain't your girlfriend

_You ain't my boyfriend I ain't your girlfriend but I don't want you to see nobody else_

**Andi's POV**

I sat in the spoon once again on my phone looking at more pictures of SAVA I was really excited to go it seemed like the best way extend my art and get better. Amber came with my order of baby taters she looked upset like the 2nd time her and Jonah broke up only it was more sad than angry I put down my phone and tried to talk to her

"What's up you look upset"

"It nothing it's really stupid" she looked like she burst into tears it was heart breaking I wanted hug her

"It dosent look like nothing you can tell me I'm bambi remember?" I put my hand on top of hers she went red

"I-its just I kinda had a crush on iris and I asked her if she felt the same way and she said sorry but she doesn't like me like that"

My heart sank I guess I have feelings for the blonde but it doesn't look like she feels that way about me

"Well it's her loss I'll tell ya what whenever your not working we can spend the day together you and me" she smiled and I swear it lit up the room

"I'd really like that thanks. I better go but this felt good to talk about thanks bambi"

We stood up and hugged each other it felt bittersweet I really want to tell her but she's trying to get over a crush it would be to soon. Jonah walked in after Amber returned to work I felt like he would be good to confide in plus if and that's a big IF Amber ever felt the same way I better make sure its not awkward for Jonah

"Jonah over here" I waved at him he sat across from me and gave me a smile

"Hey andiman what's new?"

"I actually wanted to tell you something I um... I have a crush" I admitted starting to regret my decision

"Oh you like Amber"

"Yes I- wait you already know?" I replied to the green eyed boy in shock

"I thought you guys are together I guess not that's a shame"

"I thought you wouldn't want me to see her because she's you ex your know"

"Well we're not boyfriend and girlfriend anymore or whatever we used be... go after whoever you want Andiman don't let me or anyone else stand in the way" he gave me a reassuring smile

"Thanks Jonah your a great friend"

"You would... do the same for me wouldn't You?"

"Well I only ever kind of went out with Walker and you don't even like guys so what's the worry?"

"R-right" his face fell

"Anyways after Buffy dated Walker I would probably freak out if you guys dated even thought that's really unlikey but it's a good thing because I wouldn't be able to stand that kind ok drama"

"Um... okay"

"So should we split these baby taters?"

"I actually have to be somewhere but I'll see you later"

His facial expression was exactly the same as when he started dating Libby that made me nervous what if Jonah asked me that for a reason...

_Nah I'm over thinking this he doesn't even like guys_

**Jonah's POV**

I hurried out the spoon I felt weird being around Andi after she said that more of a reason not to come out well to her anyways but I needed to talk to someone because this was eating away at me I didn't know how much longer I could keep this for I quickly took out my phone I knew just the people...

🍋**the lemon show+Jonah🍋**

**[Jonah]**  
**Meet me at the Red Rooster asap it's urgent!**

**O h Andi what am I gonna do with you sorry this chapter is short bois I don't have a legit reason it just is**

**Love lj xx**


	4. Coming out

_Have you heard of lgbtq+ Well I am the B_

**Jonah POV**

I sat in the red rooster tense and nervous well that was an understatement I was on the verge of a panic attack probably as bad as the one I had at the Shiva maybe even worse.

It's not the coming out I'm worried about well that dose scare me a little but it's the telling Cyrus about my crush on Walker what if he tells the girls or maybe even Tj might let it slip I was terrified I couldn't stop my hands from shaking but all I could do was sit there and wait.

Suddenly Cyrus and Tj walk in laughing about something they sat on the couch opposite me and it dosnet take Cyrus long to figure out that something's wrong with me but Tj starts the conversation

"Hey Jonah you wanted to see us?"

"Yeah what was so urgent are you okay?" Cyrus looked at me with concerned eyes

"W-well no there's something I really have to talk to you guys about and your the only people I think will understand" my whole body began to shake I couldn't make eye contact with either of them.

"Well what is it were wating"

"In you're own time Jonah"

I just sat there I could hardly find the words it just died on my tounge

"Okay um the first thing I should tell you is that I think...no I know I um like boys" Cyrus was shocked and Tj sat there looking like the blinking meme

"So um what are you?" Cyrus said finally speaking up

"Bisexual I've known for a while now"

"I thought you were already out"Tj said which completely surprised me

"How did you..."

"Honestly some of the looks you gave Cyrus gave it away"

Cyrus looked at me with wide eyes and I immediately turned red from embarrassment

"Anyways um there more to it I-i-i have a crush... on a boy"

"Ooo tea" Tj perks up

"You have a crush? On who?"

"I-it's"

My breaths got faster and more laboured I kept going back and fourth between the idea of telling them and not telling them my head was spinning.

"Jonah take a deep breath it's okay you don't have to say we can do a quick process of elimination" Cyrus puts his hand on mine to stop the shaking

"Firstly it isn't one of us right?" Tj asked with caution

"No"

"Is it Marty?"

"He's kinda cute but no"

"Do we know him at all?"

"Cyrus Does Tj dosent and the girls know him to"

"Ugh there's someone in my mind but I can't think ugh who is it" Cyrus was getting frustrated

I was on the verge of cracking and just shouting it that's all I wanted to do I couldn't hardly even hold back the tears in my eyes

"It's Walker okay I like Walker a lot"

Cyrus was shocked Tj flinched a little from my sudden outburst I just sat there and put my face in my hands I didn't want them to see me cry.

_it's over Cyrus is gonna tell the girls_ _and they'll be angry and you'll lose your only friends. Your so stupid_ _you always mess everything up an-_

"Jonah please look at us" Cyrus said gently

I faced them with my read streaked face and puffy red eyes They both stand up I also stood with them Cyrus didn't hesatite to hug me tight. I let a sob escape my lips and he squeezed me tighter

"Shhh it's alright JB I'm so so proud of you thanks for telling us"

"Yeah we've been there we know how scared you are" Cyrus pulled away and Tj gave me hug as well

"Yeah I am scared but the thing is ya know Walker he's um pansexual"

"WHAT?! Jonah what are you wating for ask him out" Cyrus said really excited

"I-i can't I didn't tell Andi how I feel but she said it would be weird if I went out with Walker but apparently it dosent matter because 'I don't even like guys' I don't wanna hurt her feelings and you saw what happened when Walker and Buffy where together it's probably for the best"

"Well I don't know who Walker is but who cares about Andi just go for it you like him and I bet he'd be willing to try going out with you" Tj reassured me

"Ya know what I will try thanks you guys" I smiled and I felt my phone buzz

🖌**Artist🖌**

**[Walker]**  
**Can you meet me in the park?**

**[Jonah]**  
**Sure be there in 5**

"Oh looks like love is in the air" Cyrus smiled widely

"Haha well I'm gonna go wish me luck"

"Good luck man I know he'll say yes" Tj pat my shoulder

I headed out the red rooster to the park as fast as I could I was excited and nervous at the same time I couldn't wait to ask him I saw him and some guy was sitting next to him I didn't think much of it and just went up to him

"Hey Walker"

"Oh hey Jonah this is Liam, Liam this is Jonah"

"Hey nice to meet you" he looked at me with this fake smile

"I need to tell you something" we both said in unison we laughed

"You go first" I said

"Well Liam and I are a couple"

I felt my heart drop I watched there hands intertwine and Liam gave me a glare I felt hatred and sadness welling up inside me

"So what was your news"

"O-oh it's not important I'm gonna go"

"Already?"

"Yeah I-I'll see you some other time"

Liam looked at me with this patronizing smile put his hand on my shoulder and whispered

"For your sake I wouldn't see him ever "

I could look at him with shock as the colour drained from my face

"It was so nice to meet you well let's go Walker" Liam practically dragged him away

As I turned and walked away I felt numb I didn't even realise the tears falling down my face but I didn't wanna give up Liam wasn't a nice person but at the same time I wanted to go home and lay under my covers for ever I could only think one thing

_I knew he couldn't love me the way I love him._

**Y'all probably hate me right now but trust me your about to hate me even more **

**Love lj xx**


	5. Fuck square one

**Buffy's POV**

I headed to the movies to meet up with Marty for a date but I then stumbled upon Jonah leaning against a wall staring at his phone only he had tears rolling down his face. He noticed my presence and quickly wipped his tears but I could see he kept tearing up

"H-hey Buffy on your way to see Marty"

His voice cracked in the middle of the sentence as he put on a smile

"Jonah what's wrong why are you crying?"

"W-what nothings wrong"

I put my hand on the green eyed boy's shoulder

"I care about you Jonah please tell me what's up"

"I'm having an allergic reaction"

"Seriously to What?"

"Life"

With that he started to sob I pulled him in for hug and he cried into my shoulder

"Awe Jonah please I wanna help tell me"

"I-i-i can't I'm sorry I will but not right now I'm scared" he said as he pulled away

"Well whatever this is I am always here for you I won't be mad or make fun I swear" saying that seemed to calm him down

"Thanks Buffy your a great friend"

We went our separate ways but I still felt bad for Jonah I met up with Marty and he saw the concern on my face

"What's up do you not like the shirt because I don't think I like it either"

"I got you that shirt and that's not it I saw Jonah in tears about something but he wouldn't say what I'm worried about him"

"He has been awfully distant we'll keep an eye on him"

**Jonah's POV**

Remember a time when I said I'm at a good place well I feel like the second I start falling for someone I go straight back to square one actually fuck that I feel like I'm at an all time low like I didn't rock bottom rock bottom hit me.

I have no idea why i feel this way ecspecially since it's about a boy I mean with Andi I kinda felt like this but I feel 10 times worse I just don't know what to do with myself. If this is what love feels like I owe Amber another apology.

My thoughts are interrupted as I collided with another person we both screamed in shock and pain I felt anger rise in me but I'm face softened seeing who it was

"O-oh hey Andiman sorry I w-wasn't watching were I was going"

"That's fine I was in a rush"

I noticed she looked frazzled her face resembled mine sad with bloodshot eyes

"Hey what's up?"

"Amber problems she's so hung up on Iris who doesn't even like her back. I'm not mad at her so much just I wish I could be out with it I'm an idiot"

"Your not your figuring out your feelings and Amber is to soon enough she'll see how great you are" she smiled and looked up at me at last

"Thanks Jonah I really needed to hear that now it's your turn why do you seem so upset?"

I panicked I couldn't just tell her now no way I should but she had enough going on.

"Its not very important"

"I've never seen you cry like this it must be"

"Not now when I'm ready I'll tell you everything I promise"

She pulled me into a tight hug when we pulled away she ruffled my hair and I let out a breathy laugh

"I'm hear Jonah don't forget B.E.E.F" she winked and started to walk in the opposite direction.

I was in a pit of regret Andi and Buffy were so nice to me they didn't even know what the problem was the more the days went by the more I felt like the bad person. To make matters worse the last person I currently wanted to see came running over

"What is it Walker?"

"You ran off and I was worried did Liam say something or?"

"No well yes but ugh I can't even be mad at you because you won't understand"

"Your mad at me? Well tell me I wanna understand because your my friend Jonah"

_Friend _that word stung more than Liams words more than keeping this secret from Buffy and Andi I couldn't even do anything I just stood there

"Ya know what there is absolute no point explaining it to you I'd be wasting my breath anyways"

"But why Jonah please tell me why"

he gripped my wrist and I looked in his eyes I saw sadness and desperation and I still really lo- like him and I hate that I do because he dosent like me back I know he dosent

"Just let me go please i-i can't"

I got free from his grip and speed walked as fast as I could I turned around to see him walking away in despair.

**Walkers POV**

Jonah wouldn't talk to me I tried to force him to but he refused he couldn't get away fast enough I looked back at him with worry

_What isn't he telling me?_

**We love a supportive Buffy** **and Andi and idk but suddenly Walker is** **the oblivious one and I told u ppl you would hate me even more well be prepared to hate me but then love me again**

**Love lj xx**


	6. Thank u, next

_I know they say I move on too fast but the one gon last_

🍋**The lemon show +Jonah🍋**

**[Tj]**  
**Hey there my favourite gays**

**[Cyrus]**  
** Tj wassup**

_** Tj changed the name to **_  
_** 🍋the lemon show🍋**_

**[Cyrus]**  
** Oh Tj why vandalised our very appropriate group name**

**[Tj]**  
**Cause Jonah is no longer a basic hetero and ellen show lemon** **show get it? Cuz were all gay**

**[Cyrus]**  
** ELLEN IS QUEEN SHE WILL NOT ALLOW IT**

**Jonah b(i)eck ur quite af**

**[Jonah]**  
**Oh I was busy**

**[Tj]**  
**Well how about we all go to this karaoke night that's this evening a double date**

**[Cyrus]**  
** Yeah and Jonah's first date with a boy ooo**

**[Tj]**  
**Gays stay winning**

**[Jonah]**  
**Sorry I'm gonna pass on karaoke and Walker has a boyfriend so**

**[Cyrus]**  
** WHAT NO-**

**[Tj]**  
**ThE tEa Is ExCePtIoNaLlY gOoD ToDaY**

**[Jonah]**  
**Pls stop I'm crying and your making me laugh**

**[Cyrus]**  
** Nooooo stop we love you 💖💓💝💘**

**[Tj]**  
**Well that boyfriend is over he's cancelled and where coming over**

**[Jonah]**  
**You guys don't have to**

**Your all ready on your way** **aren't you?**

**Cyrus's POV**

After Jonah told us what happened me and Tj met up and headed over there I know how Jonah feels after hours of talking through it with buffy while him and Andi where together I never held it against him he had no idea that is not Jonah's fault but it still hurts for Jonah he could of had Walker but he was to late it must hurt twice as much.

We arrived and knocked on the door to be met with a melancholic Jonah not something you get see very often we walked up to his room his hair was a mess his eyes where red and puffy he also had tear streaks down his face with tissues all over his bed. I saw his laptop open it was on Walkers instapic Jonah quickly shuts it and puts it on his desk

"Jonah" I started "I'm so sorry this happened" I reached out to hug him but he declined

"No i-it it's fine I was probably kidding myself"

"We know how much you liked him" Tj gripped his shoulder he tried to pull away but he too strong Jonah started to cry softly me and Tj spoke softly

"Hey don't cry over him it's gonna be okay"

"Wh-y do I feel like this he dosnet like me a-and I've never felt like this before not even about Andi" he's got it pretty bad for him

"What exactly happened?"

"He introduced me to Liam and well he defiantly doesn't like me he said I shouldn't talk to Walker he's not nice I don't know why there together he deserves way better"

"Ugh he sounds awful it's alright remember when I told you about Tj and Kira she wasn't nice just like this Liam guy so it won't last long"

"Yeah I eventually realised" Tj stated

"And in the very wise words of Buffy Driscoll because Walker is a boy it will take him longer"

Jonah nodded and smiled faintly

"Now get dressed brush your hair where going to karaoke so you can forget at least for a little while"

Jonah looked reluctant but he nodded

**Time skip**

**Jonah's POV**

We got to this cafe place not far from mine and the place was very lively people chatting a few queuing up to sing it looked fun me Cy and Tj took a seat and ordered a few drinks. I actually enjoyed myself.

"You know I think this is exactlywhat I needed"

"Told you and it's about to get a lot more exciting tell him Tj" Cyrus eagerly looked at his boyfriend

"Me and Amber are going to have this holiday party before Christmas but Cyrus is Jewish so hence the holiday part and it'll be out friend group only"

"Sounds really fun I love Christmas and Winter I can't wait"

"Awesome"

we laughed and some if the people that sung where actually really good. It was the final call for anyone that wanted to sing when Cyrus asked

"So what are you singing?"

"What no I couldn't-"

"Cut the bull Jonah Cyrus told me what a great singer you are go for it"

I looked towards the stage and I saw on a guy with a guitar near the front I walked over

"Excuse me hi may I borrow this I'll give it back"

He nodded I told the guy at the stand what I wanted to sing and I got up on stage

"Okay last up for our karaoke special tonight is Jonah Beck"

_Thought I'd end up with Sean but he wasn't a match_

I started to play and just got lost in the music the song really said how I felt how I wanted to feel it really felt good to get my feelings out there in the only way I know possible

_One taught me love one taught me patience and one taught me pain now I'm so amazing_

Cyrus and Tj where cheering occasionally yelling words of support like "yes Jonah" and "You got this" I think if I didn't confide in them I would of driven myself mad

_Thank u next, (next)_  
_Thank u next, (next)_  
_Thank u next_  
_I'm so I'm so grateful for my ex_

_Thank u next, (next)_  
_Thank u next, (next)_  
_Thank u next _  
_I'm so I'm so_

_Spend more time with my friends I aint worried bout nothing plus I met Someone else we having better discussions_

I choked back the tears as I thought of Walker even thought that's not what the line is about it still kinda hurts

_I got so much love got so much paitence I've learnt from the pain turned out amazing_

I could see Cyrus and Tj singing along I focused on that.

_I'm so I'm so grateful for my ex _  
_Thank u next _  
_Said thank u next (yuh)_  
_I'm so I'm so grateful for my ex_

As I reached the end of the song I noticed someone in the audience someone that made my heart flutter but made it ache at the same time

_Thank u next _  
_Thank u next _  
_Thank u next _  
_Yah hee_  
_Thank u next _  
_Thank u next _  
_Thank u next _  
_Yah hee_

I finished and people stood up i was really happy but as I was able to see more clearly I could see that Walker was there and so was Liam how?! How are they here so many places but they had to come here. I gave the guitar back and walked over the to Cyrus and Tj they say my panicked state and saw Walker and Liam across from the room

"Ingnor them okay you were great" Cyrus reassured

"Thanks I just-"

"Hey Jonah right that was really good your a great singer" Liam said as he came over I tried to keep my posture but he honestly scares me

"H-hey Jonah"

"Walker... Liam" I couldn't make eye contact with either of them

"Oh my Tj- well been a while I always knew you didn't like my sister she's hi though" Liam reached out his hand but Tj just looked at it and rolled his eyes

"You tell her I'm still gay"

"Who's his sister?" Cyrus asked

"Kira" Tj said with loathing

"Guess the apple dosnet fall far from the tree" said Cyrus

"Kira and Liam wrecking lives since 2019" Tj sassed and with one final glare they left

"Walker may you please get me another drink"

"Sure be right back" Walker left and Liam went all by bipolar and took me by the shirt

"Look I know you like Walker and you may think because you knew him first means you have a chance but Walker likes me not you he never has and he never will so just do us a favour and quit annoying him."

I didn't know what to say I just had my mouth wide open trying to suck in air but my throat had closed up and I could feel my heart about to burst out my chest tears formed at the corners of my eyes and I started to violently shake

"J-jonah are you okay" Walker as he came back

"I-i I'm gonna go"

I ran out the cafe past Tj and Cyrus and found myself falling onto my knees as the freezing cold air hit my face

_I can't breathe_

_I need help_

_Someone anyone..._


	7. Already falling

_There goes my heart there goes my head and that's was the edge and I'm already falling_

**Cyrus's POV**

Me and Tj left Jonah to speak to Walker I hope Jonah remains strong but I could already tell Liam was a jerk he just one of those faces where you could see he was annoying.

"How do you think he's doing muffin?" Tj's face was laced with concern

"I don't know maybe we should get back in there"

"Nah anyways I might not be able to stop myself from punching Liam if have to look at him again" I laughed normally I would object but honestly Liam did need to be to taught a lesson.

We suddenly saw Jonah run out we sped across the street at the foot of some bridge and fell to his knees I knew what was happening and I was about to rush over but I could see someone else beat me to it

"Oh no Cyrus don't just stand there help him" Tj was about to go over but I stopped him

"Wait let's see if Walker will do the right thing"

**Walkers POV**

I could tell Jonah wasn't fine I rushed out to see what was happening all I saw was Jonah on the ground I about to go help him when I was interrupted

"Walker hey I'm talking to you" Liam grabbed my wrist

"What? I have to help him"

"If you do then...then were over it's him or me" I could tell he was serious but I there wasn't a doubt in my mind it was a no brainer

"Well okay I guess we're over"

"What?!"

"Your heard me bye bitch"

I finally got free of his grip and ran over to Jonah

"Hey Jonah what's wrong?"

He couldn't even speak or look up he was paralyzed with fear it suddenly clicked as to what was happening

"Hey Jonah look at me look at my eyes follow my breathing okay in and out in and out slowly" my breaths met his and he seemed to calm down

"Good that's good I'm here Jay I'm holding your hands a-and... and"

I was desperately looking for a distraction then I looked up

"Hey look up you see those stars look there really bright tonight ya know when I was 7 I used to think that someone painted the stars in the sky it's actually why I started drawing and painting I wanted to do that too"

Jonah let out a breathy laugh at the story as he calmed down his cheeks and the tip of his nose turning red from the cold he looked so lovable

"H-how did you know to do that"

"My mom taught me she's a nurse one time she had to calm someone down in the hospital and i asked her how to do that incase I ever needed it good thing I did"

He smiled that's the first genuine smile he's given me in ages I wasn't gonna waste this

"Hey I know your mad but before you run off can we at least walk and talk for a little" I looked at him with pleading eyes he just smiled and said

"Sure"

**Meanwhile...**

**Andi's POV**

"Thanks for letting me sleepover bambi"

Amber was trying to avoid her Iris problems and quite frankly when she said her parents where barley together it worried me I didn't want her to be around that 24/7. she could really use a distraction so I offered to help her out

"Anytime"

We laughed and chatted the whole evening I tried showing Amber how to make her own braclet but I ended up doing it for her. I painted her nails pink and she started to ramble about her favourite Christmas music

"I mean like it's not Christmas if you don't listen to all I want for Christmas is you at least once Tj claims it's annoying and doesn't want it at the party but I don't care to be honest I have better taste"

she had a real sparkle in her eyes when she got excited it only made me more attracted to her

"That I can agree on Mariah Carey is so great but I also love last Christmas and Santa tell me"

"I love that Ariana Grande song I think I have it on my phone"

she took it out and scrolled for a few minutes being careful not to mess up her fresh coat she pressed play and we started singing at the top of our lungs

I turned off my bedroom lights and turned on the fairy ones hanging above my bed I had a bunch of Christmas crafts that Amber helped with while dancing and singing with me by the end we collapsed onto the floor laughing hysterically with our heads next to each other while laying opposite

"That's probably the most fun I've had in weeks" She said between breaths

"Uh-huh if you're holiday party is anything like this it'already gonna be amazing"

"Thanks but it already feels pretty amazing to me" Amber sat up her face going as red as a fire truck

"Yeah I guess your right"

"So um me and you?" She asked as she drew closer to me"

"What about Iris?"

"Well we we're able to spend all this time together I guess feelings kind of developed but if you don't feel the same-"

I stopped her chatter by putting my lips on hers I was freaking out but she almost immediately kissed back

"Lets face it Andi we've practically been flirting forever now"

"Yeah... so girlfriend's?"

"Girlfriends"

**Jonah's POV**

Me and Walker were wondering mindlessly I told Cyrus and Tj to head home so they went it was just me and him.

"By the way I um broke up with Liam"

Don't celebrate don't celebrate don't celebrate

"Oh I'm sorry"

Haha no I'm not

"Its okay I didn't like the way he treated you or anyone for that matter"

"Yeah he wasn't nice"

"Now I want an explanation from you why are you so mad at me?"

"Well I'm not so mad anymore not at you anyways just at myself because I ... I like you okay no it's more than that I feel like I've totally fallen for you like completely and I hate myself for it I know you don't think of me in that way"

"Jonah are you kidding... look at where we are"

I looked around and I saw the lake and I realised we were at the bridge

"The bridge"

"Right where you came up to me and reconnected with me I liked you then and I like you now"

He took my hands and my heart was about to burst out my chest I looked up at his big brown eyes and time stopped as he whispered

"Its always been you"


	8. Colour

_There's something bout us when we're together Whenever you're there, everywhere I see color_

**Jonah's POV**

I woke up in a cold sweat the last thing I remember before totally passing out is Walker saying that he liked me my anxiety usually drags all the energy out of me so I'm not surprised I was so exhausted. But fear started to sink what if I dreamt it or something what If-

💜**My artist**💜

**[Walker]**  
**Good morning jay thanks for last night I think we should make this official 3**

A smile crept across my face it wasn't a dream but then I remember everything Andi said how I lied to Buffy if I'm going to tell them I'm gonna need Walker there.

**[Jonah]**  
**Yeah but minor set back I'm not out to Andi and Buffy**

**[Walker]**  
**Well I don't wanna force you out the closet so whatever u decided I'm with you but at the same time don't you think it'll be easier when they know**

**[Jonah]**  
**Ugh I think I officially hate it when your right**

**[Walker]**  
**Haha get used to it I tend to be right a lot meet at the spoon?**

**[Jonah]**  
**Lol yea sure 💞**

I didn't tell Walker that I loved him even though I wanted to because I think it's crazy that I was starting this single lifestyle and focusing on myself but Walker has managed to sweep me off my feet.

I set my thoughts aside and got dressed and quickly head out the door I guess you could say I was overly excited everything seemed a lot brighter we met up outside the red Rooster and he hugged me tight it may be winter but I know the cold wasn't the reason for my face turning red

"I texted the group they are going to meet us at the spoon but I think I wanna come out first ya know"

"Okay but as I said the last thing I wanna do is make you come out before you're ready so we don't have to do this just say the word an-"

I took his hand and it seemed to stop his rambling his breathing hitched softly at the contact but he was soon smiling really big

"should I be there I mean they might put two and two together if I'm there too"

"Yes I know I want you there so they figure it out"

He smiled and squeezed my hand I needed the reassurance we got to the spoon I only saw Cyrus and Tj so it was safe we walked in there eyes fell on our linked hands and Cyrus squealed and pulled me into a hug

"I'm so so happy for you. Trust me you deserve this more than anything"

"Thanks Cy"

"Well done man" Tj pulled me into a bro hug

We all sat back down Walkers hand still attached to mine with him squeezing it every now and then to calm my nerves it's like he could feel it

"So your going to tell the girls"

"Yeah well let them figure it out more like I just want to try and come out"

"That's cool"

We ordered and made small talk for a little while figured out what to say I had to do this otherwise I would never get round to it. Andi and Buffy arrived and were quite frankly shocked to see Walker here with us his hand slipped out of mine

"O-oh hey Walker" Andi stuttered avoiding his eyes Buffy simply remained quite

"Hi"

Buffy sat next to Cyrus and Andi sat next to me it was crazy awkward neither of them could look at him.

"So...Jonah You had something to say" Cyrus said and pointed towards the girls

Walker put his hand on top of mine and whispered

"I'm here"

I took a deep breath and just decided to be out with it

"Andi Buffy I'm... bisexual I like boys and girls"

They both had there mouths open for a second but then there faces softened

"I'm happy for you Jonah thanks for telling us" Buffy gave me a thumbs up

"Did you two know" Andi looked to Cyrus and Tj

"We did"

"Jonah I feel awful I just assumed you didn't like guys then you had this look on your face I should of said something"

"Its fine honestly"

They were happy and so was I our food came but neither of them even asked why Walker was here

"Jonah got anymore news for us" Tj gave me the same look as Cyrus insisting I tell them thankfully Walker took the lead on this one

"Well there is something more actually" he took my hand and put them on the table Buffys eyes went wide Andi gasped as she put a hand over her mouth

"Me and Jonah like each other a lot"

Buffy looked me dead in the eyes and I practically stopped breathing for those few seconds

"And your happy?"

"Yeah I've never felt happier"

"Then who am I to object?"

"Thanks Buffy"

We all turned to Andi and I could feel Walker holding his breath

"Well you know it actually makes sense it explains what the other day was about"

"And why you didn't couldn't tell us the reason you where so upset" Buffy said I nodded Andi put a hand on my shoulder and Buffy put her hand over mind

"Jonah we love you so much you can't help how you feel I'm sorry about the things said you can always come to us" Andi reassured I felt tears welling in my eyes

"Yeah Jonah you and Walker it's a good thing we're not mad I understand why you didn't tell us sooner but we support you 100%" Buffy smiled her words where soothing

We all let out a sigh of relief I didn't even feel the tears that were rolling down my face until now

"Thanks you guys"

"Yeah I know how you feel about me so I'm happy you can except us. See I told you it's all okay" Walker wiped my tears away caressing my face in the process.

I am so lucky.

**One hour later**

**Walkers POV**

Me and Jonah walked hand in hand down the street after saying goodbye to our friends and I was thinking how amazing things have been it also made think how my dad might feel about me would he hate me be proud I don't know heck I don't even know where he is.

"I can hear you thinking what's up?"

"Well I was just thinking it was nice of Andi and Buffy to be so great about us I just wondered what my dad might think he walked out when I was seven I haven't even from him"

"I'm sorry"

"That's okay but I do want you to meet my mom she's like my best Friend, sister and mom all in one she's pretty chill so nothing to worry about"

We got to my house and I opened the door

"Mom I'm home"

"Hi sweetie did you have a good time?"

"Yeah and I want you to meet someone"

She came to the hall way and same Jonah I took his hand and pulled him forward he was obviously nervous

"This is Jonah my boyfriend I told you about him"

"Hi it's nice to meet you" he said shyly

"You too I'm Chantelle"

They shook hands and Jonah visibly relaxed

"So what do you like doing Jonah?"

"Hanging with my friends and playing guitar"

"Oh really I play base guitar actually"

"That's cool so does my teacher he was in a band called the renaissance boys"

"Oh my goodness I went to there show in salt lake city... out of interest what's your star sign?"

"Cancer"

"Honey you better be good to him"

We all laughed my mom is really into horoscopes and stuff like that

"Alright Jonah your a nice kid you guys can go upstairs I'll be here if you need me"

I took Jonah's hand and ran upstairs to my room closed the door we sat on my bed and I pulled him close to me

"Your mom's nice but where did the British accent come from?"

"She lived in London but moved here when she was about have me never seemed to pick up the accent though" he listened attentively his vibrant green eyes lighting up everything was more colourful around him

"And... your sure that you're okay? with your dad and all"

"Yes I'm totally fine without him"

He dug his head was in the crook of my neck it fit perfectly I wrapped my arms around him protectively.

_I wanna stay like this forever_


	9. The way

_Oh, it's so crazy you get my heart jumping when you put your lips on mine_

**Jonah's POV**

I had Walker come over to my house the next day I wanted my mom to meet him. I was already out to her so I didn't see why not. There was a knock on my door and I ran over to the door and he was there

"Hey Walker come in"

"Thanks nice place...So your mom?"

"Ah about her I should probably warn you"

"Hey hon is this Walker?"

"Yeah Walker this is my mom and yeah I know Judy Bartholomew"

"Um okay nice to meet you"

They shook hands I was surprised he hasn't heard of her

"You don't know who she is?"

"Well we just met jay am I supposed to?"

"No no it's cool" he put an arm around me

"Awe well I'll be in the living room" my mom went out.

"That went well" I turned to face him and it looked like he was leaning in I closed my eyes and leaned in to

"Oh and" we jumped apart as my mom poked her head round to door "be back at 5"

"Yeah yeah okay thanks mom" I said annoyed she winked at me

"Wanna go to the park?" he asked laced our fingers together and nodded.

**Walkers POV**

Me and Jonah made it to the park after I met his mom I leaned in to steal a kiss but he's mom interrupted but we won't get interrupted here I hope we took a seat on the bench.

"So that was really something back there huh?"

"Yeah well nearly but now it's just you and me" Jonah said with a smirk

"hmm okay"

We leaned in once again I could feel his breath on my lips we were so close but

"Hey you guys!" Tj called us from the swings

"Seriously" Jonah muttered under his breath

"TJ WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?" Cyrus yelled back at him I think he got the idea we were about to kiss they approached us

"What I didn't do anything" Cyrus whispered in his ear

"Ohhhhh sorry guys"

"Well leave you to it" with that they went back to the swings I was laughing slightly Jonah looked pissed

"Its okay they didn't mean to"

"Yeah I know still annoying though"

"I can make it better if you'll let me" Jonah turned red and his eyes went wide

"Hey get your mind out the toilet I didn't mean it like that I mean I want us to go on a proper date"

"I'd love that but where would we go?"

"Well no where special but you know my mom is way into astronomy and horoscopes well there's a telescope at my house we could use it go star gazing"

"I'd really like that" he smiled brightly

We waited around for the sun to go down we headed to mine and grabbed the telescope then headed back to the bridge I set it up the stars where perfect I was defiantly going to sketch this later I noticed Jonah was humming a song I hadn't heard before

"The stars are beautiful" he said as he looked into telescope. He had the most adorable excited face

"Yeah I guess they are. But c'mon you easily outshine them all"

He giggled blushing lightly

"what was that song you were humming?"

"Something I've been working on it was inspired by the night we got together when you helped me through the panic attack"

"Aww that's really nice Jonah I'd love to hear it"

"I'm afraid it's not finished but as soon as it is you'll be the first to hear it"

"I can't wait what am I gonna have till then?" I grinned

"Maybe this will work"

He started to move closer my heart started racing I also got nervous wating for something to interrupt but no nothing could interrupt such a perfect moment our noses where lightly touching I took my hands out my pockets and wrapped them around his waste he held the back of neck and pulled me into a kiss I held him tight as we kissed it was exhilarating and loving I'd never felt more at peace I knew I needed him more than anything he filled a hole my dad left years ago. He completed me. Eventually we had to stop for air we gazed in each other's eyes I could see stars refectling off his green emeralds

_He's perfect_

**Later that night**

We were aimlessly dancing through the street singing time of my life from dirty dancing only because Jonah loves the film once we reached my house and disturbed all my neighbours I unlocked the door and we went in but nothing could mentally prepare me for who I would find behind that door

"Dad?"


	10. Seven years old

_Once I was 7 years old my mama told me go make yourself some friend or you'll be lonely_

**Walker's POV**

"Dad?"

"Hey son" He stepped forward to hug me but I but I stepped back closer to Jonah

"Um... How are you?"

"Okay cut the small talk how'd you know that we'd be hear? who the hell let you in?"

"I did" my mom came through from the kitchen and stood next to him my mind was racing with thoughts she always talked bad about him why did she let him come back? why now? what does he want from us?

"I think Jonah should leave now sweetie don't you?" Er no I can't face him without Jonah here

"B-but-"

"It's okay I'll see you tomorrow call me later?"

I nodded and he turned and left I had to fight the urge to hug him the last thing I want is my dad to bombard with questions about Jonah

"Look" My mom started "Sit down in the living room I'll get you something warm to drink and just let him talk for little bit okay"

"No I don't wanna hear anything he has to say what happened to it just being us? we don't need him?"

"I know but you always wanted an explanation and so did I so be nice for me please?"

"Alright" I huffed "I'll give him a chance"

"Thanks kiddo hey how about we go for something to eat give your mom a little alone time huh? we can talk then" I rolled my eyes but my mom looked desperate so I nodded

I told my dad to go to the spoon so we did and ordered a couple milkshakes. I only went to keep my mom happy I wasn't planning to listen to anything not his excuses or sob story or anything there were time I really needed a dad somethings my mom couldn't do for me or explain I had to learn on my own I didn't need him then I most defiantly do not need him now.

"So you come here often" he started awkwardly trying to make conversation

"This isn't blind date" he let out a breathy laugh

"I know that just trying to get the ball rolling you get that sense of humour from me ya know"

"Well you haven't been around long enough for me to know so"

"Walker I'm very sorry look I know how it feels to be-"

"No you don't you have no idea how it feels to be 7 years old asking your mom when your coming where you are or if I can speak to you I missed you so much and it was horrible for my mom I could hear her silently crying at night she had to take on two jobs she was so scared I couldn't do anything to help I was helpless so don't sit their and tell me you know how I feel."

I was livid I couldn't stand the sight of him after what mom went through what I went through he was never a dad to me. He looked guilty like he had tears in his eyes I did practically shout at him but I still didn't feel bad I've been waiting years to put him in his place.

"W-Walker I don't know what to say except I do know how you feel m-my dad your Grandpa used to be abusive he would hurt me and your Grandma and your Aunt will tell you all the same when you were born I didn't have a job the we lived in a small apartment I didn't know what to do I was scared I would turn out a monster like him I didn't want that for you or your mom I know it's no excuse I was cowardly times got tough and I fell apart you're mom is twice the person I'll ever be"

Great now I feel bad.

"Believe it or not you earned a little tiny piece of my sympathy not respect though." we both laughed

"But I'm a lot better now I work and travel to all these countries and I represent artist and earn a decent bit of money"

"really I love art I actually draw and paint it's literally a passion of mine mom saved up for months to get me whatever I wanted to pursue it we could back and... I could show you"

"That would be amazing I want to be in you're life it was a stupid thing to do and I won't do it again"

"It'll take time to forgive you but I'd love for you to be around more" we both smiled and headed out

**Jonah's POV**

"It's crazy Cy he was just standing there"

I once I got home I instantly called Cyrus to video chat I was stressing out more than anything It's like I could feel whatever Walker felt I hoped he was okay he never got sad just angry at his dad and he rarely got angry I was fearful he would do something stupid

"Well I'm sure everything will be okay Walker is a good guy just breathe what about that song you were working on is it finished?"

"Not quite"

"Then work on it for a while take your mind off things now me and Tj are watching are binge watching so I gotta go"

"Oh what show?"

"Fresh prince"

"Oh okay have fun thanks Cyrus for everything your my best friend"

"It's no problem and you're my best friend two later JB"

He hung up I know I can always count on Cyrus for anything and everything but it didn't stop me worrying about Walker I grabbed my guitar and song book and started playing coming up with knew lyrics I hope he likes more than anything I guess when you love someone their opinion matters most.

**The next day in the Afternoon**

**"**_**Hey I can't come to the phone right now leave a message"**_

I was tired of this I've texted Walker and called him he wasn't answering what if something happened? I was gonna head over to his house to see what has up and to get the details on what happened last night. I rang the door bell and Chantelle came to the door.

"Hello Jonah how are you I didn't know you where coming over"

"Yeah sorry about that I was worried Walker didn't answer his phone I was wondering if everything was alright?"

"It's all good you can go up to his room"

"Thanks"

I bolted up the stairs and I could hear hear one last time playing through the speakers he has he must be painting something I knocked on the door loud enough for him to hear

"Come in mom"

"It's not mom" I walked in and he turned and greeted me with a smile and kissed my cheek

"Hey how are you?"

"Fine but I called you a bunch of time why didn't you answer?"

"Oh things got eventful last night and I've been working on this all day"

"Can I see?"

"No it's not finished but won't be long"

"Cool... so you're dad what did you talk about"

"He explained to me that things were tough for him growing up he was afraid he'd turn out like his dad so that's why he left I started talking to him more and we actually have a lot in common he represents artists all around the world and travels a lot he's actually pretty cool"

"Oh that's great I'm happy you"

"So you'd be okay if I went up to palm springs to spend the weekend with him?"

"Of course I mean sometimes you hear about some kids that reconnect with their parents and end up moving away that would never happen to us right?"

"no I have school friends my mom and most importantly you I would never pick up and leave just like that"

"Okay" He pecked my lips "Can I at least make you a playlist for the road?"

"I wouldn't have it any other way" he pulled me in for a tight hug all I now is this will be the hardest weekend of my life.


	11. Better off

**I'm not sure but I felt like I should put this just in case**

**T/W- abandonment and general angst**

_I never let 'em know too much_  
_Hate gettin' too emotional, oh, yeah_

_I'm better off without him_

**Jonah's POV**

It was Friday night and I was currently headed to Walker's to see him off. I knew he was coming back but that didn't stop me from missing him even before I got to his house. I arrived and knocked on the door I was thinking I go round so often I'm gonna need a key. Chantelle answered the door she looked furious she was clutching her phone and making a fist with her other hand.

"Hi Chantelle... what's wrong?"

"Walker's deadbeat dad that's what" I immediately feared the worst I feel like I knew what was coming

"Okay tell me what happened"

"I just got off the phone with him he told me some urgent business came up in Canada and a Co-worker would be joining him so Walker couldn't travel with him. So I said since Walker was really looking forward to it I'll buy him a plane ticket I even suggested you travel with him but then he said something about a meeting in DC and a gallery in Maine. He actually said I should tell Walker the news he doesn't even have the decency to tell him himself."

"Ugh what a dick" My eyes widened at the words that I said I didn't mean to say that but I was annoyed this idiot comes into Walkers life makes promises and lets him down at the last minute "Sorry I shouldn't have said that"

"Oh no you're right ugh! I was so stupid he didn't treat us right in the beginning why would he change now I let him back in to Walker's life when he was perfectly fine before he even offered to send us my money I told him to stick his money up his bitch ass"

"Good for you and this is not you're fault you were let down too and I'm so sorry... I'll tell him"

"Are you sure?" I nodded reassuringly Walker came practically skipping down the stairs he looked so excited this was gonna be like slapping a puppy in the face

"I'm ready and- oh hey baby I didn't know you we're coming"

"I'll leave you to it" His mom nodded at me and left the room

"Er you should probably sit down"

"What's wrong is it you? is it us?"

"No no we're fine it's... it's about your dad"

"He's okay right?"

"Yeah but right now he's on his way to Canada... without you he said that he got caught up in business and he wouldn't have much time for you"

"So he's gone he left... again"

"babe I'm so sorry" I held his hand tighter but he let go and stood up and started to pace around back and fourth

"nah... nah it's cool it's fine I mean he left before when I was little what was stopping him from doing it again I shouldn't even be surprised"

"It's okay to be angry or upset" I stood up as well

"no I just wish I didn't spend the past few days making him this" He pulled the painting out his bag and chucked it on the table it was a silhouette painting of a father and son it was beautiful

"oh Walker it's g-great but-"

"Yo-you know I was even gonna tell him about you and come out to him"

Walker got angrier the more he spoke

"Because I love you but he wouldn't understand that he never loved me or taught me how to love he never wanted me so to hell with him!" Tears fell down his face I gripped his shoulder

"Hey come on-"

"I was fine without him i-i-i managed to ride a bike without him make friends without him get through the past few years of school without him that was all me not him" I nodded sympathetically

"And I'm gonna graduate go to college settle down probably have kids and I'm going to love them more than he ever loved me because there is nothing that heartless son of a bitch can teach me about being a parent"

He sobbed into his hands and looked up at me what he said next made my heart ache for him

"W-why doesn't he w-want me?"

I pulled him into my shoulder and he cried harder I was disgusted with his dad for doing this

"Walker you are the sweetest, most kind-hearted and funny person you're dad is a stuck-up low life that doesn't know what he's missing out on let him go where ever he went you're better off without that jerk I'm always gonna love you Walker."

"I lo-love you t-too Jonah."

I held him close to me for what felt like hours while he sobbed it slowly turned to hiccups then I heard light snores he had fallen asleep buried into my side. I laid him down on the couch and covered him with a blanket being careful not to wake him I took his bags upstairs folded and put away his clothes. Chantelle came to his room

"Aw you didn't have to do that"

"Well I reckon Walker's pretty tired so I figured I'd help him out"

"Well thank you I'm glad you're in his life and he has someone else he can count on"

"Always"

"I'm making tea you want some"

"yeah thanks"

Me and Chantelle talked for an hour as Walker slept she told me all the things that made him feel better as I mentally took notes on how to cheer him up I decided to sleep over to keep him company she was such a nice person didn't deserve such a shitty excuse for a husband she did everything she possible could for Walker while he was growing up putting him before herself most days I really wanted to take the pressure off her I was gonna do everything physically possible to help Walker .


	12. Hold on

_You've got stars stars in your eyes let's paint the sky_

**Walkers POV**

I slowly raised my head from the couch I looked at the clock it was 9:35 am I slept through the night wow well I was pretty much emotionally drained my mom has probably gone to work by now and... oh no Jonah I'll have to give him call maybe he can keep me company. I headed upstairs to find the clothes I packed neatly folded and my phone with 100% battery my mom probably did all this. I walked down stairs and I suddenly heard light snores from the kitchen I walked to find Jonah sitting on a stool slumped over the kitchen counter he was an adorable sleeper I found some waffles like the ones I used to love as a kid and my mom left a note next to the plate

_Hey baby _  
_I hope you feel a little better sorry I had to work Jonah will look after you_

_Love you,_  
_Mommy xxx_

I felt awful Jonah didn't have to do any of that he looked like he didn't sleep half the night I silently made some coffee and ate the waffles they were really good I made Jonah some coffee too he looked he needed it I gently woke him up with a kiss on his head I petted his hair until he opened his eyes

"Mmm... hey morning"

He easily has the cutest morning voice I've ever heard

"Hey cutie good morning and thank you for everything you did"

"No problem" Jonah smiled "sorry I'm not much of a morning person" he yawned and I slid the coffee in his direction and his eyes widened

"Ugh thanks this is exactly what I needed" Jonah downed it and seemed to become more awake in a few minutes he took the cup and washed while I sat and watched him

"How are you feeling?" He said as he dried his hands

"Well... I don't feel much just numb like I don't know what to feel anger, hatred, sadness I don't know what to do"

"Oof someone needs the rage cage" I looked up at him with a confused face

"Okay Andi told me about it and now everytime one of us is angry that's what we say"

"I don't think I'm that angry so much just... well ugh it's complicated" I leaned my head on the kitchen counter he rubbed calming circles on my back

"It'll be okay I understand how you feel"

"You do? H-how" I looked at him with concerned eyes Is their something up with him? I mean I know about his panic attacks but was there something else?

"Oh- um... No reason well it's not important" he avoided my eyes he's clearly keeping something but what?

I walked over next to him and kissed his neck he shivered slightly his face turned pink as he faced me I pecked his nose

"You know if you wanted to tell me anything I'll listen" he looked doubtful I saw fear in his eyes

"T-there's an open Mic night tonight I'm sort of a regular there it's at the red rooster it would be awesome if you could come watch"

"I wouldn't miss it" he put his hand on the back of my head to bring me closer to him I felt his lips on mine I kissed back and ran my hands through his hair and up and down his back as we deepened the kiss there was a fight for dominance I pushed onto a stool and he finally gave in but Jonah's phone went off and he turned away to answer

"Its my mom she wants me home but I don't wanna leave you"

"No go I'll be okay and I'll see you at your open mic night" I kissed his forehead "I love you I know yesterday you probably said to make me feel better but I meant it and-"

"I love you too trust me I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it"

**Jonah's POV**

I went home soon after I was close to telling Walker what my family went through over a month ago but he's going through a lot it would be self centred besides that wasn't the only thing I was trying to hide. I keep a lot of things from people it's turning into a bad habit. I ran upstairs to change and as I headed back down I saw my dad come in wearing the same clothes as yesterday

"Er... hey dad" he plastered on a smile "hey kid how are You?"

"Im wondering how you are actually did you work through the night again"

"Yeah but i-its okay keeps a roof over our head just about and keeps us fed to"

"Dad be honest I'm not a kid you don't have to protect me after the past few months I don't think I'm scared of much anymore" Okay that's fucking lie I still have plenty to be scared of I'm just trying to reassure him

"Oh Jonah I'm sorry about a kid your age shouldn't have to worry about these things. Believe me it's fine I'm just tired I work very hard and the job is really good believe me... When was the last time you spoke to your friend?"

He's right with everything going on I should go get somethings off my chest

"Yeah um I should go see him I'll see you later" he came over and hugged me

"Okay I-I'm proud of you after everything you went through especially after going through months of it alone" I simply nodded I didn't wanna cry either my dad's stressed out enough. I went out the door I think I could fit in a few hours before tonight.

**Open mic night**

I clutched my guitar nervously backstage as Bowie got up to introduce me

"And our last singer off the night an open mic night regular singing a brand a song it's Jonah Beck"

I smiled and walked on stage and sat down I saw the good hair crew Tj and Walker I instantly relaxed

"Hey I'm happy to be performing again and a lot went into this song I hope you like it" I started playing and got lost in the words

_You've been on this road too long_  
_Hearing music but it's not your song_  
_Wanna scream but your voice is gone_  
_Days trapped inside your head_

_Can't look up cause your world is down_  
_Walking miles staring at the ground_  
_All alone inside the crowd_  
_Letting pockets hold your hand_

_But the sun is always there to shine_

_The clouds block out the sky_  
_Oh hold on_  
_Just once more day_

_Oh hold on_  
_You know you'll found a way_

_Hold on_

_You've got stars in your eyes_  
_So lets paint the sky_  
_Oh hold on_

_Just one more time_  
_Hold on_  
_I'll be your reason why_  
_Hold on_

_You've got stars in your eyes_  
_So lets paint the sky_

My friends seemed to love it well they always do unless Andi thinks it's about her again. But Walkers opinion mattered most. I set my guitar down and went to my friends receiving hugs and high fives Walker came to smiling really big

"Was that the song?"

"Yeah what do you think?"

"Has anyone ever to you your the best boyfriend ever?"

"No" we all looked at Andi

"What he wasn't exactly an angel 24/7" Andi crossed her arms as well all began to head put Walker put an arm around and kissed my head

_I love him._


	13. Be alright

_Cause the hard times are golden cause they gonna lead to better days_

_We're gonna be alright_

**Walker's POV**

"Have you seen Cyrus?"

I was sitting in the spoon on my phone when Tj walked in looking worried I instantly put my phone down being attentive to listen.

"No not since the open mic night sorry"

"Have you seen Jonah?" He quizzed

"Not for a few days but what's that got to do with-" I was cut off by Tj

"I think there hanging out together doing something but I don't know what" he said concerned

"What's so bad about that? they are best friends"

"Cyrus won't tell me anything did Jonah say anything to you?" I wanted to protest. Reassure Tj that it was all fine but I couldn't think of anything.

"No and come to think of it he has been disappearing off to... well I don't know where" we both exchanged nervous looks after everything Jonah wouldn't cheat on me... would he?

"Lets get the bottom of this" Tj grabbed my wrist pulling me out the spoon.

"Where are we going?" I said he released my wrist and I quickly walked along side him

"Too Cyrus's house the last time I went over Jonah was just leaving so they might be there again"

We quickly rushed over to the house it was a really pretty Cyrus's parents must make good money. Tj knocked and we were greeted by Leslie Cyrus's mother.

"Oh hello Tj and..."

"Walker a new friend of Cyrus" I finished her sentence we shook hands

"Nice to meet you he's upstairs with Jonah" she ushered us in.

So he was here! Why wouldn't he just tell me that? Why wouldn't Cyrus tell Tj that? my mind was racing with questions the two of us hurried up the stairs turning the corner Tj and I saw the two of them we managed to keep hidden watching our significant others. They exchanged a few words then shared a hug. Nothing too weird but that's when we made an appearance.

"Hope we're not interrupting" Tj blurted out the two boys jumped apart in shock.

I...um...we can explain-" my boyfriend started but Cyrus took over

"We weren't doing anything I swear this was all Jonah" Cyrus said in panic

"Gee thanks" Jonah whispers shooting him a glare "and he's just making it sound worse than it actually is it's honestly not so bad" he reassured

"If it isn't that bad you would of told me" I said starting to feel slightly betrayed. Jonah hung his head in defeat Cyrus looked to him

"You have to tell him Jonah it'll be okay" he patted his shoulder then  
lead Tj to his room so we could talk.

"Go on then what is it?" He took a few deep breaths then started talking.

"I'm seeing Cyrus's dad he's a therapist he helped me through my first panic attack I figured it would be good for me and Cyrus has been sitting through the sessions with me I swore him to secrecy" he confessed

"So you've been seeing his dad for you're panic attacks?"

"Yes and commitment slash trust issues, the hell my parents and I went through a month ago now and a lot more emotional stuff that I don't talk about much I'm supposed to be opening up" he said his voice getting tired

"Wait rewind what happened to you and your parents?" I said concerned

"We went bankrupt lost our house it was one of the roughest periods in my life and that's saying something. I'm sorry I didn't say anything are you m-mad at me?" He swallowed a lump in his throat I took his hands in mine

"I'm not mad at you Jo just a little hurt you didn't tell me sooner I would of sat through it with you I wanna be the one to hold your hand in that room" I spoke softly

"I'm sorry still working on this opening up stuff" I saw tears welling up in his emerald eyes "you're just the best relationship I've ever had I'd hate myself if I ruined it by scaring you off or something" his voice cracked I quietly hushed him.

"Its fine I understand you have a long way to go and that's okay but you'll have better days" he smiled softly

"I know it's all new to me it's scary I'm gonna get put on medication soon"

I squeezed his hand tighter with every word his knuckles started turning white I began to loosen a little pulling him into a hug.

"You are so brave Jonah I'll always be here for you it'll be alright" he pulled away to plant a soft chaste kiss on my lips shorter than I'd like but still sweet.

"I love you thanks for understanding" I threaded my fingers through his

"I love you too"


	14. My true love

_Look at all the things my true love gave to me. My true love, my true love_

_You are my true love_

**Jonah's POV **  
Just like that the Kippens holiday party came just as quickly as it was announced. I thought it would be just our friend group but Tj and Amber's parents went away for a weekend and the word spread quicker than the flu so it quickly became a big party

But I do love Christmas and all things winter or Autumn. There my favourite times of the year. I think it's called a 'holiday party' out of respect for Cyrus which is totally fine I think we'll still go the traditional things.

Walker and I walked hand in hand to the party he seemed a little too excited if I'm honest he was smiling really big to himself swinging our interlocked hands back and fourth.

"You seem very peppy this evening" I said with a smile growing on my face mirroring his.

"How could I not be it's a really happy time of the year we're going to a party and... I'm with you" smirking I shook my head pecking his cheek

"Well that's a very valid reason but can I ask why you're bringing a backpack?" He laughed lightly

"You'll have to wait and see"

He tugged my hand forward towards the door We could already hear loud music and the sound of teenagers raving as the party grew. The decorations where endless I could tell which one's Andi had included herself. We were greeted by Cyrus and Tj well it took them a minute to stop flirting and notice us.

"Hey you two looking good" Cyrus said dodging Tj's kisses "Oh wanna hear a joke?" Tj groaned stepping to his side

"He was googling Christmas jokes and puns just for tonight"

"How does a reindeer know when it's christmas?" He was already laughing before he got the joke out

"How?"

"He checks his calen-deer" he laughs Tj and Walker rolled there eyes

"I don't get it" I said looking confused at at them they all laughed

"Don't worry it's not even that good" Walker reassured I shrugged it off.

We headed into the living room that was buzzing with energy. But our group kind of retreated to the kitchen for snacks. We suddenly heard a lot groaning in the crowd and people starting to look uncomfortable.

"I smell a rat" Tj said a little too loud pointing at what caused the disruption.

Kira and her brother Liam made their way through to the kitchen no wonder everyone was suddenly upset.

"Well well well if it isn't the boyfriend stealer" Kira said sneering at Cyrus

"For the last time we were never a thing" Tj yelled

"Oh and look Walker you decided to bring your little bit on the side it's too bad you're probably really nice hope you know what you're getting yourself into" Liam said with a smug look on his face.

I was sick of being scared of Liam and I was tired of Kira constantly giving Cyrus and Tj shit for them two being together. I got up right in front of their faces.

"That's it Liam you need to get over yourself Walker clearly wasn't happy with you but he was always faithful to you so you have no fucking right to come to a place you weren't invited to a start talking all this bullshit. And Kira stop taunting Cyrus and Tj I'm only gonna tell you once don't make tell you again." I was red Kira and Liam looked a little timid

"Y-yeah w-well-" Kira started only to be cut off by Cyrus

"ugh nOBODY CARES KIRA GO AWAY SOMEONE PASS ME A WATER" Cyrus shouted.

He had this new found confidence as both Kira and Liam left I turned to everyone earning 'well dones' and pats on the back Walker hugged be tight kissing my cheek.

"Couldn't of said it better myself" Buffy smiled warmly at me

"Yeah but they're just bullies and we shouldn't be focused on them"

"Exactly right" Andi said hugging me.

We all laughed and joked the rest of the night. Marty somehow got into the Kippens cabinet with eggnog inside.

"Yo do you guys dare me to jug all this"

"Do it" me and Tj said simultaneously

"No way I'm not cleaning your sick off the carpet put it back" Amber intruded Marty shrugged and returned it.

Slower songs began playing everyone seemed to pull the significant others for a dance.

"Are we dancing?" Walker said playing with my hair

"Not yet"

I put in a request with Tj I was still waiting.

"Oh I almost forgot I got you a little something it's why I had to bring the backpack"

"You know if there shoes Andi and Buffy might throw up" he giggled

"Good thing it's not then"

He pulled out a notebook with a galaxy painted on it by him of course it had '_let's paint the sky' _on the front I opened it to the first page and there was a sketched drawing of us it was very detailed it was amazing.

"I saw your song book and figured you'd like a new one"

"I don't know what to say... I didn't realise we were getting each other present now I don't have anything for you"

"You didn't have to you've already gone above and beyond"

"no one has ever done this for me before"

"Its about time people appreciated you more"

"Thank you so so much" we both smiled lovingly at each other inching forward I planted a kiss on his lips letting it linger it felt tingly and tasted sweet. True love started playing excitedly I pulled him to the dance floor.

_On the first day of Christmas when you gave me all them kisses_  
_Boy, you showed me things, come hold me please, and never let me go_

We took our positions and started dancing close to each other

"How'd you know I love this song?"

"I mean how could you not?" I chuckled

_On the fourth we committed_  
_Any time, he could get it, he's the real one, I know it_

Looking to my left I could see Cyrus and Tj cuddling for dear life. They really are perfect for each other. And I know who's perfect for me.

_Look at all the things my true love gave to me_  
_My true love, my true love, you are my true love_

Walker spun me also pulling me closer in the process I giggled putting and arms around him.

_You completed the vision_  
_Now I feel like I'm living, you're so one-in-a-million, oh_

I inhaled familiar scents that made me feel safe in his arms ignoring the wetness building in my eyes I was truly really lucky to have him how would I tell him I don't know

"What are you thinking about?" He whispered

"Nothing just how did I ever deserve this? You mean so much to me"

"You deserve the world" he smiled fondly

_Ah-ah, you are my true love_

"I love you Jonah it's always been you"

**The end**


	15. Thank you

**Hey guys **  
**That's a wrap this book is over thank u to all that read this I hope you enjoyed it I really very much enjoyed writing it I love you thank u thank u thank u**

**Whole book playlist:**

**-Monopoly (Ariana Grande and Victoria Monet)**

**-Boyfriend (Ariana Grande and social house)**

**-Im bisexual coming out song (Doide Clarke)**

**-Thank u next (Ariana Grande)**

**-Already falling (Tyrone Wells)**

**-Colour** **(Todrick Hall and Jay Armstrong)**

**-The way (Ariana Grande and Mac miller)**

**-Seven years old (Lucas Graham)**

**-Better off (Ariana Grande)**

**-Hold on (extreme music)**

**-Be alright (Ariana Grande)**

**-True love (Ariana Grande)**

**I love you I'm super grateful **

**Love lj xx**


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